My husband and I have a few friends and family that have either waited until they were older to have kids, are still waiting, or still deciding if they want kids at all.
We, on the other hand, had our kids quite early in life. It’s very common at family gatherings for it to be all adults and then my two girls. Over the course of the years, we’ve gotten dragged into many conversations about when the right time to have kids is.
No matter who we talking with, they inevitably end up saying something like this: “Well, we’d rather live our life first, and then have kids, rather than waiting until we’re in our forties to start traveling and living life.”
I usually nod and smile and say something like, “Well, we aren’t exactly waiting for our lives to start.” But I don’t go much farther than that because I’m afraid that no matter what I say, I’ll end up sounding as if I‘m judging them for choosing to wait until they’re older to have kids. And I am honestly not.
I don’t care when you have kids, or if you have them at all. I mean, sure, if I had it my way, all of my cousins and siblings would have huge families and our parties would be bursting with little ones running around. But that’s only because I love kids and want more babies to squeeze. But when it comes down to it, have kids, don’t have kids, I don’t care.
There is something that is starting to bug me more and more and it’s this perspective that parents don’t have fun until the kids leave the nest. Or that you need to get in all the fun you can possibly imagine before having kids, because otherwise you are going to miss out.
I don’t think I’m in the minority when I say, I actually enjoy being a parent. And it’s not just the Kodak snuggling sessions with your toddler saying I love you so much with a little lisp type of moments that I enjoy. Though those are huge perks of this life.
Besides all the parenting stuff that goes on around here, we also just do life together. We laugh, we joke. We love all the same movies. We’d rather spend time with them than just about anyone else.
Sure, we haven’t traveled much. But it’s not because we’re waiting for our kids to grow up before we do the real stuff of life. So it’s not that we’re waiting for our kids to leave before our big Europe trip. No, what we’re waiting for is more like a big bag of cash to fall on our front step.
So yeah, we’re broke. But guess what? We’d probably be just as broke without kids. Earning a ritzy living has never been high on our priority list.
And, sure, sometimes my kids drive me crazy. But guess what? So does my husband. And I drive them all crazy sometimes, too.
And yes, sometimes I need a break from those two beautiful faces that call me mom and I need to just stick my nose in a book and escape life for a bit. But guess what? I’ve been doing that my whole life, long before kids.
So I understand that not everyone wants to have kids, and I respect that decision. Not everyone should be parents.
But those of you that say you want to live your life before you have kids? I’ve finally figured out why it bothers me when you say that. It’s kind of insulting. Believe me when I say, I’m not missing out on anything.
I’m not waiting for anything to start.
Yes, my life is all tangled up with three other individuals.
But this life of mine? It’s happening right now.
And I love it.