What do men want? There are plenty of theories out there and they all pretty much boil down to the same thing. Food, respect, and you-know-what. Maybe not in that order.
Before you can become the kind of wife your husband wants to rush home to, you have to find out what he wants. Sure, you can read all the latest marriage books, but the best way to find out is to ask him.
I was part of a marriage group a couple of years ago and we had an inspired leader who had the men and women separate and write a letter together telling the spouses what a perfect day would be.
I’m not sure why were all surprised when the women’s note focused on things we wanted to do for our husband, and the men’s note focused on… things they wanted us to do for them. It was kind of annoying, but once we moved past that, I learned some valuable things.
My husband said that not everything in the note applied to him, and he was kind enough to fill me in on what his perfect day would look like. I made it my mission to create that day for him, over and over again.
I failed miserably, of course. Because no one is that good for that many days in a row. However, it did bring great insight into my husband’s heart and gave me direction on just how to please him.
Ask your husband! You might be surprised how simple his requests might be.
I’m not actually going to share what my husband said, because that’s personal. But I will share what the men overall said.
What the men wanted
The leader of our group started to read the letter, it was a story written by a happy husband. He was talking about how hard his day was, and how he just wanted to get home. When he got home, his cheerful wife had cleaned the house, whisked the kids off to Grandma’s, and made a simple dinner. The night went on from there, and the happy husband got even happier.
Pretty simple, right?
Sure, this is just one group of five or six guys, but I have a feeling their thoughts are somewhat indicative of men in general.
That note has stayed in my mind for the last three years! Not that I can whisk off our kids every day, or even that my husband would want me to. I’ll tell you what I think it’s all really about.
Preferred and Prepared For
Everything the wife had done in the perfect day letter came down to this: She was thinking of her husband all day, was looking forward to seeing him, and had prepared for him to come home.
Your guy’s wishes might be a little different than what the men in our group said, but I am pretty sure every man would want to feel like his wife had spent a little time preparing for him and looked forward to his homecoming.
That’s something we can all work on. Today, I encourage you to ask your husband what his perfect ordinary day would look like. Then, find one small thing you can do to make it happen.
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I love my husband book
Choosing Cheerfulness
Oh, thanks a lot, challenge me up and down and all around and then prick my sinful heart!
Uh huh.
I’m on to you and your wifey goodness.
Convicted.
I love this! There’s a reason you don’t run into this message very often. It IS convicting. So hard to do. It’s so easy to put our kids/hobbies/friends in front of our husband when they should be in back.
Thanks for the good read. I like it here!
~Brenda
Thanks, Brenda!
I was just driving home and thinking of that remark that you and I have laughed about often . . . you know–the one that the man said about what it would take to make him happy? “If I’m not frisky, make me a sandwich. Period.”
And I come home to this post.
Really, men are not the complicated animals that we try to make them. This is what I have learned in my half a century plus on the planet:
He wants to be your hero.
He wants to be loved and admired. (Without any lists of his shortcomings–he knows them by now.)
Take care of him with love, and really mean it, and he will stand up, fists poised, ready to defend against any enemy foreign or domestic.
He wants you to believe in him, so that he can believe in himself, cause if you don’t, someone else will.
Don’t you just love men?
God had a grand idea when He made us different. I always thought that men were just like us, and actually got quite miffed when I wasn’t ‘understood’. Well, time passed, and my eyes were open–to the gloriousness of manhood.
Yay.
Thanks for this! I know that’s a big thing for my husband too – to know that I’ve been waiting for him. But I tend to forget, and I’m waiting for him more along the lines of ‘thank-goodness-you’re-home-take-the-baby-while-I-quickly-finish-this-and-oh,-how-was-your-day?’